


new beginnings

by lesdeuxarbres



Series: new beginnings [1]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Character Death Fix, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Roxanna lives!, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesdeuxarbres/pseuds/lesdeuxarbres
Summary: Roxanna and Henrik try to move on with their lives in the aftermath of everything.To remember to grab what was in front of them, to be kind to those they loved.





	new beginnings

In the darkness of the bedroom, Henrik Hanssen stares tiredly at the ceiling. More and more lately, sleep seemed to elude him. The warmth and comfort of his bed and the arms of the one he held so dear, not enough to lull him into a dream state.

He closes his eyes and tries to relax yet again, to fall asleep. Henrik inhales deeply, and the ever-present scent of Roxanna infiltrates his senses.

His brain was still operating at full capacity. Calculating variables, weighing up pros and cons. The burden of an unmade decision, knawed at him and demanded attention. He almost wished he was in the study, rearranging the items on his desk. It never failed to clear his thoughts.

Roxanna's breath is slow and steady, but she hasn't fully surrendered into slumber either. She stirs in his arms and nuzzles her nose into the crook of his neck. She snuggles even closer to him but keeps her eyes closed as she whispers, "Can't sleep." Her voice was soft and drowsy.

"Are you making a statement, or asking a question?" He can feel the upward turn of her mouth in his neck.

"I'm sleepy and only semi-conscious, stop mocking me." Roxanna's chiding is only half-hearted

Henrik pulls her tighter against him and angles his head to press a soft kiss on her temple. "If you're so sleepy, why aren't you asleep." He traces his fingers up and down the curvature of her spine through the thin fabric of her pyjamas.

Roxanna sighs contently and attempts to snuggle further into his arms. "You feel tense tonight. Not as soft as you usually are." Her eyes are still closed, and her voice sounds almost sounds incoherent

Henrik immediately feels the pang of guilt for disturbing her sleep. "Oh, I'm sorry, my darling. I didn't mean to keep you up." His hand finds hers, and he threads their fingers together.

"That's not what you said last night when you kept me up. In fact, I don't remember you being apologetic at all." She murmurs huskily.

He flushes at her words and feels the warmth of memory tingle through his veins. He clears he throat which has suddenly gone dry. "Yes. Well, there are certainly more pleasant ways to deal with insomnia."

Henrik feels rather than hears her quiet chuckling into his body.

"Are you going to tell me why you can't sleep." The drowsiness has faded from her voice, and the playfulness has turned to gentle concern.

"I rather think, you know why. I'm surprised you haven't asked to discuss it." His meeting with the hospital board last week has the potential to change everything.

Henrik was back at a stage in his life where things are looking positive. His relationship with Roxanna had brought him more joy than he ever could imagine. The dark months and years caused by Fredrik and John are slowly being left behind. But they are a constant reminder of how fragile happiness can be.

He shudders as he thinks about how close he came to losing Roxanna. Her road to recovery from the car accident had been a catalyst for them both. To remember to grab what was in front of them, to be kind to those they loved.

They needed each other; it seems, more than anything. The tentative beginnings of their deepening relationship had started while they tried to comfort each other as John's terrible fall from grace came to light. It seemed like neither one of them knew their friend at all.

Henrik's arms tighten around Roxanna as he recalled, the lengths John had been willing to go to silence her. Roxanna clings back to him instinctively, almost as if she knows where his thoughts have led him.

"I do know. I haven't asked you about it because I don't want to influence your decision. I know you'll talk to me when you are ready." She presses a small kiss on his collarbone. "I just didn't expect it to disturb your sleep."

Henrik sighs deeply. The dust had finally settled, and he had started to feel content. Content with his work at the hospital and deliriously happy with the life he was building with Roxanna. "It just came so out of the blue. I wasn't expecting it. I hadn't prepared myself for the possibility."

Roxanna raises her head to look at his face. "Hadn't you? When you gave up the CEO position, wasn't it always your intention to take it back? I've always seen it somewhat, as an inevitability."

He raises their clasped hands to his face and kisses her fingers. "If there is anything I've learnt over the years, it's that  _nothing_  is inevitable."

She smiles fondly at him "I always thought you would begin to miss it. You're a brilliant surgeon, but you seemed most in your element when you were running the hospital."

"So you think I should accept the post?" How can she seem so sure, Henrik wonders, when he felt so uncertain.

"I think you should do whatever you feel is right for you."

"But it's not just about me. This may change things between us as well."

"Is that what this is about? Afraid you're going to have to discipline me in the boardroom." She has a mischievous smirk on her face.

It was embarrassing, sometimes, how easily Roxanna could twist his words into something more flirtatious. She was always mindful, of making sure they were alone and thankfully would hardly ever do it at work. The idea of Mr Copeland potentially overhearing them would be a constant source of anxiety.

"Hardly. You haven't a single black mark on your pristine HR record Professor MacMillan." He mock-frowns at her, "Although, you do have a mild history of breaking and entering, but I find it's only when you've overindulged in alcohol."

Her laughter never fails to lighten his heart, and Henrik knows he will never tire of the sound. 

"I just feel like we've just reached some sort of equilibrium with everything that has happened. Why rock the boat now?"

"I don't think it's going to rock the boat. What will really change? In practical terms?" Roxanna's questions are thoughtful, and they seemed as much for herself as they were for him.

"If I become CEO, I would see a lot less of you on a day to day basis. That's definitely a negative." Work and his patients are always his prime focus when he on the ward, but sharing an office with Roxanna and having her always near was an endless source of comfort.

Roxanna's voice is now full of mirth, "I can always misbehave so that you will have to call me to your office." He chuckles at her suggestion. "I suppose, these days we can more than make up for it, after hours.'

"I just want you to be happy." Her voice has turned back to the matter on hand.

"I am happy. The most I have been in a truly long time." And he knew exactly who he had to thank for his current state of euphoria.

"And that is wonderful. But I want you to be absolute happiest you can be. Because I love you and I think you deserve everything you want."

"But all I want is you. I don't need the CEO position." In the aftermath of John's betrayal, nothing seemed so important, as having Roxanna nearby, constantly.

"And you will always have me. Whether you're CEO or not." She said it so fiercely and ardently, Henrik was tempted to end any further discussion by kissing her. But Roxanna was suddenly effervescent with emotion. She uses her arms to push herself above him.

"Henrik. I promise you, whatever you choose, I will be here. By your side. So choose for  _you_. Do, what will make  _you_  happy and don't think about anything else." Her eyes were teary now as she looks down into his eyes.

Henrik lifts his head from the bed to reach up to brush his lips against hers. Her arms immediately wrap around his shoulders to bring them closer together. There is no urgency in their kisses, but the emotion between them tingles Henrik all the way down to his toes.

Henrik pulls away reluctantly. "You're not wrong. I do miss the challenge being CEO provides. It's different to surgery, but there is a thrill to it as well." Henrik continues, "It's like working with a constantly changing puzzle, everytime you think you have all pieces in place, the picture changes and yet the picture ultimately never really changes. It's always Holby. It's always home. Does that sound silly?" 

"No, not at all. Holby has always been special to you...it sounds like you've made up your mind."

This was always what he feared in their youth. Roxanna opened herself up to him so freely and trustingly; it made him felt compelled to do the same, to tell her exactly how he was feeling. As a young man, it terrified him. Made him feel exposed and unworthy. Now, he relishes in letting Roxanna listen to his innermost thoughts.

Henrik strokes her cheek tenderly "Did you mean it? When you said you'd always be by my side?"

"Of course. Where else would I be?" She leans into his touch and turns her head to kiss his fingers.

Roxanna suddenly stops what she's doing. She looks thoughtful and a little uncertain but seems to decide to press on anyway.

"Do you think we should get married?" Roxanna, always courageous, never letting her fear of the unknown stop her from doing anything. Henrik didn't think it was possible, but loved her a little bit more everytime he noticed it. "I mean, that's what people do right? When they want to be together forever."

"I know I want to be with you forever. I love you, Roxanna. I know I don't say it enough but never doubt it." He kisses her then, deeply and thoroughly. Trying to convey to her what he felt, as his words seemed inadequate compared to the depth of his feelings.

Roxanna seemed to understand and responds in kind. Returning his kiss and stealing his breath just easily as she seemed to steal his heart all those years ago.

She breaks the kiss all of a sudden to look at him. "Did we just get engaged?"

He laughs at her bewildered expression. "Yes, I think we just did." And then they both laughing. There's an accidental bumping of their heads as they simultaneously try to hug, kiss and laugh all at the same time.

"That's one hell of meeting you're going to have with the hospital board." She chuckles, her eyes are bright with happiness.

"I'm sure there will be some sort of forms we'll have to lodge with HR. Probably something in triplicate." Roxanna groans at his words but then perks up after a thought.

"Well, knowing what is ahead for us, I think sleep is pretty much out of the question, don't you think?" 

Henrik smiles at her lovingly. "Is there something else you have in mind?"

"I think you know exactly what I have in mind." Her smile wide and bright as she leans down to kiss him.


End file.
